Oh friend, how do I encourage you? You are so downtrodden and disillusioned. You know God is good and yet doubt His goodness because of circumstances. It's so our humanity that stands in the way of understanding God.
My heart is heavy for you.
I see how our own attempts to control our lives can hinder our walk with God. I see it with such clarity in my own life and still I choose my attempts at control or escape vs. allowing God to lead me down the path to His will. I think of Daniel, who regardless of circumstances stood for God and refused to be burdened by the world around him. Even to the point of being alone and plotted against... thrown in a lions den. I want to be that brave in the face of all that the enemy throws at me, the world discourages me and my own failings frustrate me.
I want that bravery--that faith --for you too. I want you to choose this day whom you serve and trust Him for every provision. Today, tomorrow and your future. I encourage you to trust God. You know He's big enough, but your own fear and thinking cloud your understanding of Him. I'm praying that God will reach down and touch you. That He will give you peace. That you will loosen the hand clutched around your life and open it; giving it all to Him. That if brokenness is the way through to the other side, you will lay before Him broken and free. That would would claim the promises of God and hold tight to them knowing He is in control and that you can trust Him.
I always see myself in the future looking back on whatever my current difficult circumstance is and I think what I would like to be true of myself during this time. I want to be the parent who trusts God for the future of their child -- even if he never turns his life around. Even if he ends up dead at an early age.
Even if....
I want my faith to be fully reliant on my Creator because He is I AM. I look at all the destruction of lives that have come before me and desire to be a beacon to others that regardless of my circumstances God is good. That's what I want to see.
I know our lives are different and our faith is different. I pray that you would feel the boldness of Jesus and His resurrection power that He can and will conquer whatever lies in your life that stands between you giving it all to Him.
Let go of your control. Seek intimacy with Him and his people. Do what you know to do and Trust God for the results. Even if it takes another year. Even if it takes 2 more years. Be joyful in today and His provision and shout that it is enough, not because it's what you want, but because it is what God has provided. Let your life be a celebration of the manna offered daily to you.
Lord, be with us. Help us see you are enough. Help us see Your provision. Let us lift up our fear, our loneliness and our control to you sacrificially as an offering to You.
Be with us Lord.
Amen.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Anger
I'm so angry.
I'm angry with my prodigal boy and his seemingly determined decisions to NOT move forward in life.
I'm angry at his failure to launch.
I'm angry at my failure as his mother to better prepare him for launching.
I'm angry at my bulldozer personality that so often chose not to listen to his father, but was so set on my own way being the right way.
I'm angry at all the things I know I did wrong as a parent.
I'm angry at my prodigal for refusing to stay on medication and allow it to do him some good.
I'm angry at him for letting depression get a foothold constantly and thus making forward motion that much harder.
I'm angry that he refused to work more and have the money needed to take care of himself.
I'm angry at all the things that have transpired that make our finances so difficult and scary.
I'm angry at our landlord for not fixing all the things we want fixed.
I'm angry that I hate cleaning and see such evidence of that around me.
Did I mention I'm angry?
I'm angry with my prodigal boy and his seemingly determined decisions to NOT move forward in life.
I'm angry at his failure to launch.
I'm angry at my failure as his mother to better prepare him for launching.
I'm angry at my bulldozer personality that so often chose not to listen to his father, but was so set on my own way being the right way.
I'm angry at all the things I know I did wrong as a parent.
I'm angry at my prodigal for refusing to stay on medication and allow it to do him some good.
I'm angry at him for letting depression get a foothold constantly and thus making forward motion that much harder.
I'm angry that he refused to work more and have the money needed to take care of himself.
I'm angry at all the things that have transpired that make our finances so difficult and scary.
I'm angry at our landlord for not fixing all the things we want fixed.
I'm angry that I hate cleaning and see such evidence of that around me.
Did I mention I'm angry?
For the love of prodigals
My prodigal is my first born.
He has always been a spirited child. He is high energy and curious and takes after his mother and my slightly contentious attitude.
He is charming. He can light up a room and make someone feel good about themselves.
He is engaging. He is passionate. He gets involved in something and wants to take it on. He wants to master something and be good at it, but sometimes gets discouraged at the difficulty.
I know all mothers think their children are attractive, but my son is attractive. His big brown eyes and the puppy dog look he's mastered over the years can sway you.
He's articulate. You often don't realize he's as young as he is when talking to him because he sounds older and more mature than he really is.
He can write beautifully. There is a poet inside of him. His stories and lyrics are beautiful.
I just wanted to write some beautiful things about my prodigal to remind myself they are there.
He has always been a spirited child. He is high energy and curious and takes after his mother and my slightly contentious attitude.
He is charming. He can light up a room and make someone feel good about themselves.
He is engaging. He is passionate. He gets involved in something and wants to take it on. He wants to master something and be good at it, but sometimes gets discouraged at the difficulty.
I know all mothers think their children are attractive, but my son is attractive. His big brown eyes and the puppy dog look he's mastered over the years can sway you.
He's articulate. You often don't realize he's as young as he is when talking to him because he sounds older and more mature than he really is.
He can write beautifully. There is a poet inside of him. His stories and lyrics are beautiful.
I just wanted to write some beautiful things about my prodigal to remind myself they are there.
Friday, June 16, 2017
conversations with millenials
I have 2 kids.
Son, 19
Daughter, 17
Both my kids have grown up in a Christian, fairly conservative home.
Things that have been important to me as a parent:
kindness
compassion
ability to think for yourself
I don't allow parroting of opinions. You need to be able to back up what you say with facts and reason. this is not always a fun environment for a kid, I admit; but I find it so terribly important to raise adults who can think for themselves.
Example:
My son had a bunch of friends over prior to our last Presidential election. One of his friends made a comment about how he was voting for Bernie Sanders. So.. I asked why.
Friend: I think he'll make a really good President.
Me: Why do you think he'll be a good President?
Friend: Because he's the only one who really cares.
Me: I don't know much about Bernie. What does he do that makes you think he cares? (honestly, this was totally conversational, not interrogating)
Friend: I don't know. I just think he does.
Me: I'd love to hear more.
Friend: [stares blankly. leaves room]
Me: [commenting to my son] He didn't grow up in this house, did he?
Son: nope.
Before that friend left, I challenged him to do a little reading on why Bernie was so great and that I'd love to hear about why he likes Bernie next time he comes over.
A girl can try.
Son, 19
Daughter, 17
Both my kids have grown up in a Christian, fairly conservative home.
Things that have been important to me as a parent:
kindness
compassion
ability to think for yourself
I don't allow parroting of opinions. You need to be able to back up what you say with facts and reason. this is not always a fun environment for a kid, I admit; but I find it so terribly important to raise adults who can think for themselves.
Example:
My son had a bunch of friends over prior to our last Presidential election. One of his friends made a comment about how he was voting for Bernie Sanders. So.. I asked why.
Friend: I think he'll make a really good President.
Me: Why do you think he'll be a good President?
Friend: Because he's the only one who really cares.
Me: I don't know much about Bernie. What does he do that makes you think he cares? (honestly, this was totally conversational, not interrogating)
Friend: I don't know. I just think he does.
Me: I'd love to hear more.
Friend: [stares blankly. leaves room]
Me: [commenting to my son] He didn't grow up in this house, did he?
Son: nope.
Before that friend left, I challenged him to do a little reading on why Bernie was so great and that I'd love to hear about why he likes Bernie next time he comes over.
A girl can try.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
gift giving
has anybody else noticed the trend towards gift cards and cash giving vs. an actual purchased something?
I certainly have. I find myself looking for clever ways to wrap gift cards so that they feel more like opening something special. I'm also not saying I'm going to change that.
I noticed it myself when talking (OK, emailing because who talks anymore) with family about Christmas and the kids "list" so that we might buy presents for the nieces and nephews. Mind you, we always work to spend just the same amount and make everything fair. None of this is bad.
Even the youngest kid, who's 11, wants gift cards. I found myself missing purchasing an actual, thoughtfully purchased gift.
Am I alone? Does anybody else miss buying actual gifts?
I do and I don't.
I started buying gift cards when my daughter was in grade school and every weekend would find us at a birthday party for a school friend. I personally didn't know these kids well enough to really pick something out and my daughter didn't always have a good idea on what to buy. If we had something specific, we'd get that, but I was often stressing about it. I would stop by my local Target (be sure to say that properly... Tar ghay. Thank you.) and one of the ladies in the food court asked me if I was stressing out about another gift.
Yes, yes I am! I want it to be special.
Stop stressing about it. Buy a gift card and be happy.
I thought about that. Did I actually have 'permission' to buy a gift card for kids I didn't really know? That's actually... wait... pretty cool.
So started by desire to then WRAP them special. Because I couldn't just let it go at "giftcard...check. card...check" and be done.
Ways I've wrapped gift cards:
But where was I? Oh yes... gifts vs. gift cards
I wonder if part of it is just practicality. What if I buy something and they don't like it?
What if I buy something and they don't like it and never return it. Then I just wasted their money and they didn't get anything. It's almost like a negative gift.
Am I the only person going through this?
Is this really only for a small segment of the people in my life and I should be OK with it because I am able to buy actual gifts for other people?
Hmmm.
.
*leopard clad because all the parties we had for our kids were dress up parties. I think kids should dress up all the time. On this particular occasion I was a kitty cat. My butt was in the pics because I brought a hammer so the kids could "excavate" their own dinosaurs from the now permanently dried concrete home made dino eggs. I was bending over to make sure each kid had fun pounding away and didn't hurt themselves doing it.
I certainly have. I find myself looking for clever ways to wrap gift cards so that they feel more like opening something special. I'm also not saying I'm going to change that.
I noticed it myself when talking (OK, emailing because who talks anymore) with family about Christmas and the kids "list" so that we might buy presents for the nieces and nephews. Mind you, we always work to spend just the same amount and make everything fair. None of this is bad.
Even the youngest kid, who's 11, wants gift cards. I found myself missing purchasing an actual, thoughtfully purchased gift.
Am I alone? Does anybody else miss buying actual gifts?
I do and I don't.
I started buying gift cards when my daughter was in grade school and every weekend would find us at a birthday party for a school friend. I personally didn't know these kids well enough to really pick something out and my daughter didn't always have a good idea on what to buy. If we had something specific, we'd get that, but I was often stressing about it. I would stop by my local Target (be sure to say that properly... Tar ghay. Thank you.) and one of the ladies in the food court asked me if I was stressing out about another gift.
Yes, yes I am! I want it to be special.
Stop stressing about it. Buy a gift card and be happy.
I thought about that. Did I actually have 'permission' to buy a gift card for kids I didn't really know? That's actually... wait... pretty cool.
So started by desire to then WRAP them special. Because I couldn't just let it go at "giftcard...check. card...check" and be done.
Ways I've wrapped gift cards:
- My favorite idea for a while (before every 2 year old had a smart phone) was with a disposable camera and a little $1 photo book for them to put the pictures from their party in + gift card.
- I wrapped them in balloons.
- I wrapped one in a paper mache balloon/egg that didn't try completely but I was so set on the idea of this awesome wrapping idea that I still brought it to the party. Lord I wish I had a picture of the sad floppy somewhat moist "egg" with a gift card in it. I bet that family still laugh about the crazy lady and her son with the unknown floppy ball thing they put the gift card in.
- I tried to bury one in a home made dinosaur egg. (note tried, though I have successfully hidden plastic dinosaurs in home made dino eggs that took FOR FREAKING EVER to dry. That's the party where my mother in law took the pictures and somehow managed to get my VERY LARGE LEOPARD* CLAD BUTT IN EVERY PICTURE!
- I wrapped them in helium balloons.
- I taped them to bricks and wrapped that.
But where was I? Oh yes... gifts vs. gift cards
I wonder if part of it is just practicality. What if I buy something and they don't like it?
What if I buy something and they don't like it and never return it. Then I just wasted their money and they didn't get anything. It's almost like a negative gift.
Am I the only person going through this?
Is this really only for a small segment of the people in my life and I should be OK with it because I am able to buy actual gifts for other people?
Hmmm.
.
*leopard clad because all the parties we had for our kids were dress up parties. I think kids should dress up all the time. On this particular occasion I was a kitty cat. My butt was in the pics because I brought a hammer so the kids could "excavate" their own dinosaurs from the now permanently dried concrete home made dino eggs. I was bending over to make sure each kid had fun pounding away and didn't hurt themselves doing it.
Friday, April 11, 2014
parenting
We are going through a tough time with one of my kids right now.
Our 16 year old son is really pushing boundaries and wants to be taken care of, but wants everything his way at the same time. Sound familiar to anyone?
Our 16 year old son is really pushing boundaries and wants to be taken care of, but wants everything his way at the same time. Sound familiar to anyone?
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
miss my son
My son is 15 years old and acting every moment of those 15 years on a daily basis.
He is A T T I T U D E in spades and it's been quite a difficult summer for me.
He just left to go to England. He flew alone and his grandparents met him on the other end.
I came home early to pick him up and he was not happy. He was angry and more than anything stressed. OK, I can appreciate that, but still I'm tired of his mouth. Having to decide between keeping the lines of communication open and holding the line on the respect I need and desire as his mother. We finally make it into the care and his stress level increases. We left the house later than he would have liked (mind you we have a maybe 2 hour drive in bad circumstances ahead of us, but the rest is 10 mins of check in, security clearance and then just waiting around for 2-3 hours with your head leaning on a wall because there's too many people and not enough seats. joy.
And we want to eat because everyone knows you can't bring food through security.
Eating outside of the airport didn't happen. We found ourselves there and parking then realized food was initially on the agenda. UG... I realize I will now have to sign over a kidney as a down payment on 3 day old sandwiches and a drink for the 3 of us. $25 later with 1 sandwich, 1 drink, 1 pack of crisps and 1 muffin...I find a chair to recover from what I've just spend on "food" for my son. I have chosen not to partake at this point hopeful that I can wait a little while and then leave him to sort it out.
What's that? On overhead announcement. Something about a delay with maintenance and they will give us another update at 7:50 - when the flight was initially scheduled to take off.
Long story short... They start boarding at 7:10 and nobody is listening to anything the gate agents are saying about how to line up and who can line up first etc. They are all but rushing these few people. I was actually surprised there was so little respect for those in control of the situation.
Alex got on OK and I appropriately embarrassed him with photos. I then asked the gate agent if this flight would actually take off tonight or was there a possibility it would not and how long would I have to wait to find out? I live an hour away and if I'm going to have to come back up, I'd like to know.
His suggestion was to ensure the flight had physically take off. OK... 20 mins later we had our confirmation and I could make the journey home.
Start next day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am so teary eyed. I feel like any minute I am going to start crying. Not the most professional behavior so I tried to keep it in check; which kind of exhausted me, today, I am a bit weepy and now I've added cranky.
I guess I just miss my son!
He is A T T I T U D E in spades and it's been quite a difficult summer for me.
He just left to go to England. He flew alone and his grandparents met him on the other end.
I came home early to pick him up and he was not happy. He was angry and more than anything stressed. OK, I can appreciate that, but still I'm tired of his mouth. Having to decide between keeping the lines of communication open and holding the line on the respect I need and desire as his mother. We finally make it into the care and his stress level increases. We left the house later than he would have liked (mind you we have a maybe 2 hour drive in bad circumstances ahead of us, but the rest is 10 mins of check in, security clearance and then just waiting around for 2-3 hours with your head leaning on a wall because there's too many people and not enough seats. joy.
And we want to eat because everyone knows you can't bring food through security.
Eating outside of the airport didn't happen. We found ourselves there and parking then realized food was initially on the agenda. UG... I realize I will now have to sign over a kidney as a down payment on 3 day old sandwiches and a drink for the 3 of us. $25 later with 1 sandwich, 1 drink, 1 pack of crisps and 1 muffin...I find a chair to recover from what I've just spend on "food" for my son. I have chosen not to partake at this point hopeful that I can wait a little while and then leave him to sort it out.
What's that? On overhead announcement. Something about a delay with maintenance and they will give us another update at 7:50 - when the flight was initially scheduled to take off.
Long story short... They start boarding at 7:10 and nobody is listening to anything the gate agents are saying about how to line up and who can line up first etc. They are all but rushing these few people. I was actually surprised there was so little respect for those in control of the situation.
Alex got on OK and I appropriately embarrassed him with photos. I then asked the gate agent if this flight would actually take off tonight or was there a possibility it would not and how long would I have to wait to find out? I live an hour away and if I'm going to have to come back up, I'd like to know.
His suggestion was to ensure the flight had physically take off. OK... 20 mins later we had our confirmation and I could make the journey home.
Start next day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am so teary eyed. I feel like any minute I am going to start crying. Not the most professional behavior so I tried to keep it in check; which kind of exhausted me, today, I am a bit weepy and now I've added cranky.
I guess I just miss my son!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
bra rant
warning... any men reading this will want to skip this week.
OMG! There is a spider right next to me!!!!!
OK, now it is outside. Disaster averted. Whew. I didn't even scream! I'm so proud of myself.
I have been blessed/cursed with a formidable breast size. I don't know why the makers of such things are so convinced that the only thing I want to wear is black, white, or nude colored bra's.
I go to stores like Lane Bryant and shop their bra's which, I will admit, I've had better success with than other places. Do you know what bra's I own? White, nude (I think they try to dress up the color by calling it "sugar"), black.
I recent found the most comfortable bra ever and for someone with a large chest this is on par with a miracle. Most of the time by lunch I have to start talking myself out of whipping my bra off because it's just not socially acceptable. They become so uncomfortable (bras that is). I don't always even make it home before the sigh of relief known by every woman in America escapes from me the moment that bra is off!
Then I found these Cushion Comfort Bra's and I am barely aware of wearing them! Some genius added padding all around the under wire so they are way more comfortable and I don't hurt at the end of the day. This is now the only bra I will wear. They seem to offer colors, but they don't offer many and they sell out so quickly it's obvious they need to have more inventory on them. The distributors probably make 5 in my size and they sell out before I even know they are there. Plus, since they only offer a few in my size, they are never on sale which means I'm stuck paying a boat load of money for all my bras. I'm a bargain shopper, this irks me.
At the end of the day, I suppose it doesn't "matter" what color bra I'm wearing. Nobody but me really knows it's there. But still!
So my other rant is concerning my daughter. WHY IS EVERY BRA OUT THERE A PUSH UP BRA? I mean really?!! Have we become such a ridiculous culture that even C or D cups are push up now? and I don't mean lined or support I mean like "hey girls we can increase you by 2 cup sizes with this little baby, come on over and let's crank that chest up to porn star status in a jiffy." (Do porn stars wear bras? I guess for a minute they do. hmmm, you know what I mean.)
My daughter just wants a pretty bra that doesn't add to what she already has. Support, coverage, something pretty. Not a huge list of things needed for an undergarment. Perhaps the makers of these bras are all overachievers and they can't stop adding features until there is nothing else they can really add. Maybe the creators of bras actually need a support group to work on their self esteem so they can stop adding more and more and more. Because sometimes, less is enough.
Sigh...
Maybe I should become a bra designer and then I will realize that the capitalism behind everything makes pleasing everyone a fiscal impossibility.
Any suggestions?
What is your bra rant?
My life, am I actually going to say more isn't more? I don't think that's ever come out of my mouth before. Not seriously anyway.
OMG! There is a spider right next to me!!!!!
OK, now it is outside. Disaster averted. Whew. I didn't even scream! I'm so proud of myself.
I have been blessed/cursed with a formidable breast size. I don't know why the makers of such things are so convinced that the only thing I want to wear is black, white, or nude colored bra's.
I go to stores like Lane Bryant and shop their bra's which, I will admit, I've had better success with than other places. Do you know what bra's I own? White, nude (I think they try to dress up the color by calling it "sugar"), black.
I recent found the most comfortable bra ever and for someone with a large chest this is on par with a miracle. Most of the time by lunch I have to start talking myself out of whipping my bra off because it's just not socially acceptable. They become so uncomfortable (bras that is). I don't always even make it home before the sigh of relief known by every woman in America escapes from me the moment that bra is off!
Then I found these Cushion Comfort Bra's and I am barely aware of wearing them! Some genius added padding all around the under wire so they are way more comfortable and I don't hurt at the end of the day. This is now the only bra I will wear. They seem to offer colors, but they don't offer many and they sell out so quickly it's obvious they need to have more inventory on them. The distributors probably make 5 in my size and they sell out before I even know they are there. Plus, since they only offer a few in my size, they are never on sale which means I'm stuck paying a boat load of money for all my bras. I'm a bargain shopper, this irks me.
At the end of the day, I suppose it doesn't "matter" what color bra I'm wearing. Nobody but me really knows it's there. But still!
So my other rant is concerning my daughter. WHY IS EVERY BRA OUT THERE A PUSH UP BRA? I mean really?!! Have we become such a ridiculous culture that even C or D cups are push up now? and I don't mean lined or support I mean like "hey girls we can increase you by 2 cup sizes with this little baby, come on over and let's crank that chest up to porn star status in a jiffy." (Do porn stars wear bras? I guess for a minute they do. hmmm, you know what I mean.)
My daughter just wants a pretty bra that doesn't add to what she already has. Support, coverage, something pretty. Not a huge list of things needed for an undergarment. Perhaps the makers of these bras are all overachievers and they can't stop adding features until there is nothing else they can really add. Maybe the creators of bras actually need a support group to work on their self esteem so they can stop adding more and more and more. Because sometimes, less is enough.
Sigh...
Maybe I should become a bra designer and then I will realize that the capitalism behind everything makes pleasing everyone a fiscal impossibility.
Any suggestions?
What is your bra rant?
My life, am I actually going to say more isn't more? I don't think that's ever come out of my mouth before. Not seriously anyway.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
teenage romance
I have a beautiful and (mostly) sweet 13 year old girl.
This has caused me no small angst as a parent as I want to protect her from all the crud out there in the world. However, the path I have chosen as a parent has been to prepare her for all the crud out there and (hopefully) empower her to be her own person, to stand up for herself, to hold others to a standard of behavior when they are around her. (I say the path I have chosen because my husband is still very much in the protect her mode.)
The 13 year old boys however kind of freak me out.
I don't know --scratch that, I do know.
BOYS WERE NOT LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER!! Boys had nowhere near this kind of confidence or game. Do they have YouTube video's that teach them how to woo a girl? I mean, some of the stuff they come up with would work on me. What is up with this?
We had one boy over the summer who was upset because we wouldn't allow her to date. (reasonable, right?!) He tried to get our daughter to sneak behind our back and then when that didn't work he said he would wait for her. A 12 year old boy is going to WAIT until they are 18 or maybe 16 and I'm thinking WHAT?
This other boy build up this girl he liked and kept telling my daughter about her until she realized it was her! Smooth! Very well done.
Watch out girls. That's all I'm saying! Be careful who you give your heart to.
This has caused me no small angst as a parent as I want to protect her from all the crud out there in the world. However, the path I have chosen as a parent has been to prepare her for all the crud out there and (hopefully) empower her to be her own person, to stand up for herself, to hold others to a standard of behavior when they are around her. (I say the path I have chosen because my husband is still very much in the protect her mode.)
The 13 year old boys however kind of freak me out.
I don't know --scratch that, I do know.
BOYS WERE NOT LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER!! Boys had nowhere near this kind of confidence or game. Do they have YouTube video's that teach them how to woo a girl? I mean, some of the stuff they come up with would work on me. What is up with this?
We had one boy over the summer who was upset because we wouldn't allow her to date. (reasonable, right?!) He tried to get our daughter to sneak behind our back and then when that didn't work he said he would wait for her. A 12 year old boy is going to WAIT until they are 18 or maybe 16 and I'm thinking WHAT?
This other boy build up this girl he liked and kept telling my daughter about her until she realized it was her! Smooth! Very well done.
Watch out girls. That's all I'm saying! Be careful who you give your heart to.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
oh no, not boys!
As a parent, there are a lot of areas that you know are coming and part of you want to prepare to do everything perfectly. To be calm and collected, to know your stand is solid regardless of the emotional madness that will be send your way should said offspring choose to disagree with you. Listen to that part of you. Prepare. Read, talk with other parents, pray. Then sit back and practice some laughing because there will always be a little fun thrown into the mix and a sense of humor is often the only thing standing between your kids and a future jail sentence for you.
I hit this danger zone many (many) times with my son (going into High School this year). He is a precocious child (meaning he thinks he's smarter than me -- sometimes he even is, plus he has more energy than me and can often just out wait me to win. We have our battles, but we have some good discussions along the way. Discussions I often walk away from with the understanding that I should write about that dialog there and by the next morning I find myself wondering if I've just been played by a boy who knows what I want to hear and knows that is the easiest way to end the conversation. Hmmm.
My daughter is the newest danger zone. It just -poof- happened the past few weeks of this summer. A few jr high nights at school, a few community pool parties and suddenly my 12 year old is texting more boys that I even know! She mature physically, has a good head on her shoulders for the most part. I have seen her take a stand on things she was passionate about and walk away from friends who were behaving poorly. So this isn't just a snotty, pms'ing, I wanna grow up and do all that fun stuff -- without my parents around -- girl. But she is talking to that girl inside of her and I find myself wanting to do anything to stop the conversation.
I like that I can trust my daughter.
I like that basically she's always been a good girl. (granted, she hates to do her chores, but that and some mouthing off have been the worst of our issues until now.)
Now, she has boys wanting to go to the movies, and buy her candy and drinks. Now she has them texting her ad nausea. When they are together in groups, the boys are high-fiving each other that my daughter and her trusty friend "M" are hanging out with one boy they saw at the park and talking. (I mean, why can't they just be seen as hanging out because the live near the park and happened to run into one another?? Why does it have to be characterized as the boy "picked up 2 babes and hey, way to go dude." (do kids still say dude? I still hear it, but I'm sure they will accuse me of being way out of date for having that in here.)
So, Mommy is freaking out. Daddy isn't happy but seems to have it under control.
Some new guidelines...
No boys without a group (3 or more) and a chaperon over 18 (with some standards of behavior agreed to).
(Oh, the perfect chaperon just came to mind! -- insert evil parental smile!)
No boys alone (obviously).
Reiteration that texts are not private and will be read randomly. (note to parents: you can learn a lot with this one)
I'm also rethinking the Burka. Maybe I was hasty in shunning the idea of it's repressive nature. Perhaps they just want to keep their women safe! I wonder if they come in other colors/patterns. (wink)
I hit this danger zone many (many) times with my son (going into High School this year). He is a precocious child (meaning he thinks he's smarter than me -- sometimes he even is, plus he has more energy than me and can often just out wait me to win. We have our battles, but we have some good discussions along the way. Discussions I often walk away from with the understanding that I should write about that dialog there and by the next morning I find myself wondering if I've just been played by a boy who knows what I want to hear and knows that is the easiest way to end the conversation. Hmmm.
My daughter is the newest danger zone. It just -poof- happened the past few weeks of this summer. A few jr high nights at school, a few community pool parties and suddenly my 12 year old is texting more boys that I even know! She mature physically, has a good head on her shoulders for the most part. I have seen her take a stand on things she was passionate about and walk away from friends who were behaving poorly. So this isn't just a snotty, pms'ing, I wanna grow up and do all that fun stuff -- without my parents around -- girl. But she is talking to that girl inside of her and I find myself wanting to do anything to stop the conversation.
I like that I can trust my daughter.
I like that basically she's always been a good girl. (granted, she hates to do her chores, but that and some mouthing off have been the worst of our issues until now.)
Now, she has boys wanting to go to the movies, and buy her candy and drinks. Now she has them texting her ad nausea. When they are together in groups, the boys are high-fiving each other that my daughter and her trusty friend "M" are hanging out with one boy they saw at the park and talking. (I mean, why can't they just be seen as hanging out because the live near the park and happened to run into one another?? Why does it have to be characterized as the boy "picked up 2 babes and hey, way to go dude." (do kids still say dude? I still hear it, but I'm sure they will accuse me of being way out of date for having that in here.)
So, Mommy is freaking out. Daddy isn't happy but seems to have it under control.
Some new guidelines...
No boys without a group (3 or more) and a chaperon over 18 (with some standards of behavior agreed to).
(Oh, the perfect chaperon just came to mind! -- insert evil parental smile!)
No boys alone (obviously).
Reiteration that texts are not private and will be read randomly. (note to parents: you can learn a lot with this one)
I'm also rethinking the Burka. Maybe I was hasty in shunning the idea of it's repressive nature. Perhaps they just want to keep their women safe! I wonder if they come in other colors/patterns. (wink)
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
making good decisions
I talk a lot with my kids about "who do you want to be when you grow up" and by that I mean, what kind of person? What kind of things do you want in your life?
Good decisions start with stop
- Relationships?
- Opportunities?
- Employment?
Good decisions start with stop
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
7 hour adventure
If cursing is offensive to you, I recommend you read the disclaimer at the end first. Just for the record, it's not my cursing... it's on another blog I link to. I'd hate for you to be offended.
If you don't know why going to see Jenny Lawson is terribly important, you might want to start here.
If you understand why I did this... then please keep reading.
I went on an adventure Tuesday night. The excitement began inside me when I decided to go and just built until I arrived. I love stuff like this! I only wish a couple of my friends could have joined me!
I got to work early so I could leave early so I could drive home to pick up my kids and drive to San Diego (from Orange County and not the southern end of the OC!). Our adventure lasted 7 hours and cost me WAY too much money! (way way too much money)
I had it all worked out. Leaving early from work I could miss most of the traffic, we'd listen to a book on tape to make our journey more pleasant (and hopefully avoid fighting over different music tastes and my desire to listen to NPR which my (woefully uneducated) children find boring). However, I left the cassette converter thingy in my husband's car and while I planned to use a mini speaker I recently purchased, I learned that even with the speaker at top volume... a Kindle just does not want to be loud enough for 4 people to listen to it in a car while moving.
So the book on tape was abandoned. Which seemed sad to me because I actually had to argue with my kids to listen to it in the first place and having finally convinced them; I now had no satisfaction in their enjoyment doing something they initially didn't want to do. (Mom's are like that.)
We drove. The kids complained about being hungry and commented on each potential eating establishment as we drove down the freeway at breakneck speeds (all our necks are fine thank you). We missed all the OC traffic (probably because I wasn't willing to feed my poor children (hey! I told them to have a sandwich before I got home!). Made it half way down the 78 and slowed to about 20mph. JOY. We started reading Jenny's book...we started laughing and my driving became more erratic.
Wow... I wrote that much and we haven't even met Jenny yet! OK, I'll speed this up.
After stopping for gas (because my readout that tells me how many miles I can drive on the gas in my car went from 2 to 0 about 10 miles away from our destination) we finally arrived at the Barnes & Noble in Mira Mesa at 5:55pm. Having read other blog posts about the crowds, I knew it was going to be busy! Alas, there were no more chairs left and even the open space around the chairs was quickly filling up. I ran to buy the book (gasp, choke-- who knew a hardback book cost THAT much? I'm an e-book girl all the way!) and ran back to secure my place in the crowd. (Kids hung out in the car for a bit)
I met some great people and we all had a lot of fun hanging out. One of those people was Melanie who kindly took pictures and shared them with me. She also writes about the event on her blog here.
My favorite picture is this one...
My daughter looks so pretty and creepy holding and petting the chicken while the rest of us discuss what twine is and why it's important.
I think we overwhelmed the bookstore. Apparently the last time they saw a crowd like this Ozzy Osborne was there. We completely overwhelmed the A/C! I mean girl, it was HOT in there! We stood, we sat, we took pictures, we waited. My kids brought the metal chickens in to be autographed and I was surprised to see I wasn't the only metal chicken bearer.
Then Jenny arrived. I think the only thing that kept us from mobbing Jenny and giving her the biggest group hug she's ever had is our knowledge of her anxiety and crowd issues. We clapped and they worked out the microphone, then she warned everyone that she was about to say F*** a lot and started reading a chapter from her book. (a particular favorite of mine about ExLax) We howled with laughter.
Q&A time - best question goes to the man in the back. "Jenny, is there anything I can do to dissuade my wife from buying a stuffed moose?"
Jenny: No.
Ha! She said more, but the crowd egged them on and agreed she needed the moose. In fact, Jenny said, "Who wouldn't want a moose?!"
The line for autographs was loooong and I was super grateful to be at about the halfway point. I think the line winded through most of the store (I couldn't actually see because I'm vertically challenged). I thought a bunch of people had gone home and said as much when I was corrected by a taller person who saw the truth.
I had books and chickens signed while confessing my concern for being voted "worst parent" for bringing my children along to meet her. Jenny assured me they were old enough for me to avoid such a title.
Some of those items signed are gifts to friends. I'm so looking forward to the giving of said gifts!! It really is the best thing to share laughter!!
I think that's what I love about Jenny so much. She takes all the events in her life and finds a way to laugh about it. Maybe not immediately, but the laughter is there to find.
Thanks for letting us laugh along with you Jenny!
Thanks for introducing me to Jenny, Kathy! I can never repay you!
Disclaimer: I do not curse in this post (or really in this blog). However, I am a fan of certain blogs and some do curse. The nature of myself and the internet leads to many links and I would hate for you to not realize what you're getting yourself into. Specifically here, The Bloggess curses a fair bit. It's not the backbone of her humor (as some comedians use it) but it is liberally sprinkled throughout her site. She is still hilarious and one of a few must read blogs on my list. But I appreciate it isn't everyone's cup of tea.
If you don't know why going to see Jenny Lawson is terribly important, you might want to start here.
If you understand why I did this... then please keep reading.
I went on an adventure Tuesday night. The excitement began inside me when I decided to go and just built until I arrived. I love stuff like this! I only wish a couple of my friends could have joined me!
I got to work early so I could leave early so I could drive home to pick up my kids and drive to San Diego (from Orange County and not the southern end of the OC!). Our adventure lasted 7 hours and cost me WAY too much money! (way way too much money)
I had it all worked out. Leaving early from work I could miss most of the traffic, we'd listen to a book on tape to make our journey more pleasant (and hopefully avoid fighting over different music tastes and my desire to listen to NPR which my (woefully uneducated) children find boring). However, I left the cassette converter thingy in my husband's car and while I planned to use a mini speaker I recently purchased, I learned that even with the speaker at top volume... a Kindle just does not want to be loud enough for 4 people to listen to it in a car while moving.
So the book on tape was abandoned. Which seemed sad to me because I actually had to argue with my kids to listen to it in the first place and having finally convinced them; I now had no satisfaction in their enjoyment doing something they initially didn't want to do. (Mom's are like that.)
We drove. The kids complained about being hungry and commented on each potential eating establishment as we drove down the freeway at breakneck speeds (all our necks are fine thank you). We missed all the OC traffic (probably because I wasn't willing to feed my poor children (hey! I told them to have a sandwich before I got home!). Made it half way down the 78 and slowed to about 20mph. JOY. We started reading Jenny's book...we started laughing and my driving became more erratic.
Wow... I wrote that much and we haven't even met Jenny yet! OK, I'll speed this up.
After stopping for gas (because my readout that tells me how many miles I can drive on the gas in my car went from 2 to 0 about 10 miles away from our destination) we finally arrived at the Barnes & Noble in Mira Mesa at 5:55pm. Having read other blog posts about the crowds, I knew it was going to be busy! Alas, there were no more chairs left and even the open space around the chairs was quickly filling up. I ran to buy the book (gasp, choke-- who knew a hardback book cost THAT much? I'm an e-book girl all the way!) and ran back to secure my place in the crowd. (Kids hung out in the car for a bit)
I met some great people and we all had a lot of fun hanging out. One of those people was Melanie who kindly took pictures and shared them with me. She also writes about the event on her blog here.
My favorite picture is this one...
I think we overwhelmed the bookstore. Apparently the last time they saw a crowd like this Ozzy Osborne was there. We completely overwhelmed the A/C! I mean girl, it was HOT in there! We stood, we sat, we took pictures, we waited. My kids brought the metal chickens in to be autographed and I was surprised to see I wasn't the only metal chicken bearer.
 |
| Chicken Brigade... added humor, the redhead in the striped shirt is *afraid of chickens* |
Q&A time - best question goes to the man in the back. "Jenny, is there anything I can do to dissuade my wife from buying a stuffed moose?"
Jenny: No.
Ha! She said more, but the crowd egged them on and agreed she needed the moose. In fact, Jenny said, "Who wouldn't want a moose?!"
The line for autographs was loooong and I was super grateful to be at about the halfway point. I think the line winded through most of the store (I couldn't actually see because I'm vertically challenged). I thought a bunch of people had gone home and said as much when I was corrected by a taller person who saw the truth.
I had books and chickens signed while confessing my concern for being voted "worst parent" for bringing my children along to meet her. Jenny assured me they were old enough for me to avoid such a title.
 |
| See Jenny's hand there signing the book! |
 |
| My daughter is still holding the chickens! |
Some of those items signed are gifts to friends. I'm so looking forward to the giving of said gifts!! It really is the best thing to share laughter!!
I think that's what I love about Jenny so much. She takes all the events in her life and finds a way to laugh about it. Maybe not immediately, but the laughter is there to find.
Thanks for letting us laugh along with you Jenny!
Thanks for introducing me to Jenny, Kathy! I can never repay you!
Disclaimer: I do not curse in this post (or really in this blog). However, I am a fan of certain blogs and some do curse. The nature of myself and the internet leads to many links and I would hate for you to not realize what you're getting yourself into. Specifically here, The Bloggess curses a fair bit. It's not the backbone of her humor (as some comedians use it) but it is liberally sprinkled throughout her site. She is still hilarious and one of a few must read blogs on my list. But I appreciate it isn't everyone's cup of tea.
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