As a parent, there are a lot of areas that you know are coming and part of you want to prepare to do everything perfectly. To be calm and collected, to know your stand is solid regardless of the emotional madness that will be send your way should said offspring choose to disagree with you. Listen to that part of you. Prepare. Read, talk with other parents, pray. Then sit back and practice some laughing because there will always be a little fun thrown into the mix and a sense of humor is often the only thing standing between your kids and a future jail sentence for you.
I hit this danger zone many (many) times with my son (going into High School this year). He is a precocious child (meaning he thinks he's smarter than me -- sometimes he even is, plus he has more energy than me and can often just out wait me to win. We have our battles, but we have some good discussions along the way. Discussions I often walk away from with the understanding that I should write about that dialog there and by the next morning I find myself wondering if I've just been played by a boy who knows what I want to hear and knows that is the easiest way to end the conversation. Hmmm.
My daughter is the newest danger zone. It just -poof- happened the past few weeks of this summer. A few jr high nights at school, a few community pool parties and suddenly my 12 year old is texting more boys that I even know! She mature physically, has a good head on her shoulders for the most part. I have seen her take a stand on things she was passionate about and walk away from friends who were behaving poorly. So this isn't just a snotty, pms'ing, I wanna grow up and do all that fun stuff -- without my parents around -- girl. But she is talking to that girl inside of her and I find myself wanting to do anything to stop the conversation.
I like that I can trust my daughter.
I like that basically she's always been a good girl. (granted, she hates to do her chores, but that and some mouthing off have been the worst of our issues until now.)
Now, she has boys wanting to go to the movies, and buy her candy and drinks. Now she has them texting her ad nausea. When they are together in groups, the boys are high-fiving each other that my daughter and her trusty friend "M" are hanging out with one boy they saw at the park and talking. (I mean, why can't they just be seen as hanging out because the live near the park and happened to run into one another?? Why does it have to be characterized as the boy "picked up 2 babes and hey, way to go dude." (do kids still say dude? I still hear it, but I'm sure they will accuse me of being way out of date for having that in here.)
So, Mommy is freaking out. Daddy isn't happy but seems to have it under control.
Some new guidelines...
No boys without a group (3 or more) and a chaperon over 18 (with some standards of behavior agreed to).
(Oh, the perfect chaperon just came to mind! -- insert evil parental smile!)
No boys alone (obviously).
Reiteration that texts are not private and will be read randomly. (note to parents: you can learn a lot with this one)
I'm also rethinking the Burka. Maybe I was hasty in shunning the idea of it's repressive nature. Perhaps they just want to keep their women safe! I wonder if they come in other colors/patterns. (wink)