Thursday, August 8, 2013

bra rant

warning... any men reading this will want to skip this week.

OMG!  There is a spider right next to me!!!!!
OK, now it is outside.  Disaster averted.  Whew.  I didn't even scream!  I'm so proud of myself.

I have been blessed/cursed with a formidable breast size.  I don't know why the makers of such things are so convinced that the only thing I want to wear is black, white, or nude colored bra's.

I go to stores like Lane Bryant and shop their bra's which, I will admit, I've had better success with than other places.  Do you know what bra's I own?  White, nude (I think they try to dress up the color by calling it "sugar"), black.

I recent found the most comfortable bra ever and for someone with a large chest this is on par with a miracle.  Most of the time by lunch I have to start talking myself out of whipping my bra off because it's just not socially acceptable.  They become so uncomfortable (bras that is).  I don't always even make it home before the sigh of relief known by every woman in America escapes from me the moment that bra is off! 

Then I found these Cushion Comfort Bra's and I am barely aware of wearing them!  Some genius added padding all around the under wire so they are way more comfortable and I don't hurt at the end of the day.  This is now the only bra I will wear.  They seem to offer colors, but they don't offer many and they sell out so quickly it's obvious they need to have more inventory on them.  The distributors probably make 5 in my size and they sell out before I even know they are there.  Plus, since they only offer a few in my size, they are never on sale which means I'm stuck paying a boat load of money for all my bras.  I'm a bargain shopper, this irks me.

At the end of the day, I suppose it doesn't "matter" what color bra I'm wearing.  Nobody but me really knows it's there.  But still! 

So my other rant is concerning my daughter.  WHY IS EVERY BRA OUT THERE A PUSH UP BRA?  I mean really?!!  Have we become such a ridiculous culture that even C or D cups are push up now?  and I don't mean lined or support I mean like "hey girls we can increase you by 2 cup sizes with this little baby, come on over and let's crank that chest up to porn star status in a jiffy."  (Do porn stars wear bras?  I guess for a minute they do.  hmmm, you know what I mean.) 

My daughter just wants a pretty bra that doesn't add to what she already has.  Support, coverage, something pretty.  Not a huge list of things needed for an undergarment.  Perhaps the makers of these bras are all overachievers and they can't stop adding features until there is nothing else they can really add.  Maybe the creators of bras actually need a support group to work on their self esteem so they can stop adding more and more and more.  Because sometimes, less is enough.

Maybe I should become a bra designer and then I will realize that the capitalism behind everything makes pleasing everyone a fiscal impossibility.

Any suggestions?
What is your bra rant?

My life, am I actually going to say more isn't more?  I don't think that's ever come out of my mouth before.  Not seriously anyway.

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