Sunday, May 19, 2013

1 year ago

Post from last march (on another blog I started and didn't keep up with)

This is the first day of the rest of my life.
OK, every day really is the first day.
Today I am taking a step forward in my faith and in my life.
This past retreat weekend I made some changes.

I realized I stepped away from God for a while.
I've been very discouraged.

Trying to make my marriage and my family work.
Trying to have a marriage that isn't in separate rooms all the time.  Where my husband doesn't want to hide in his man cave but be a part of what's going on. 

Trying to be the person I see inside of me but never seem to produce.

So Lord, here we go.  I can see that while I trust in you, I've still been trying awfully hard to do all this in my own strength.  It needs to be Your strength because I think it's pretty obvious, I haven't done so well.

I had a very difficult 2012.  I had a major crisis of faith that is still playing out a bit, but I've mostly decided that not believing in / following God is a life I am not particularly interested in living.  Though my faith isn't so strong as it was and I do miss that.

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