You remember that joke, "I can't be out of money I still have checks left?"? Totally me.
OK, so it's not that I think I still have money left if I still have checks -- by the way, does anybody still write checks? It's been so long since I've written a check! I always feel like writing a check means I'm trying to get away with something because it's so antiquated. Oh and because of "Catch Me If You Can" -- it's more than I never think about how much money I have. OR, I totally underestimate how much money I've spent. Put those two things together and it will quickly take a second job to manage your overdraft charges. I used to be able to get them reversed (I don't suck at talking, which I might have mentioned before), but now a days, they take one look at my account and probably think I am a terrible person.
Fortunately, there is a husband in all of this. A husband who is the opposite of me in almost every way possible. The plus side of this is he is great with finances. Frugal and responsible! After 26 years, he knows how much rope to give me and while I know I often make him a little nuts, he really doesn't complain much. (I should really do something nice for him.)
It shames me to say this. I see the value and importance of this trait. It frustrates me in my boss. I see the irritation in others in meetings etc. I work on it. I really do.
I've read the articles (no doubt written by people who are always 10 minutes early to everything) about how people who are late are just too self focused or don't have respect for others. Honestly, that's not it. I'm... gosh. My mind is in 100 places at once. I so rarely focus on just one thing I'm not even sure how to do it. (For instance, I've been writing this for an hour and have done 10 other things, stopping and starting...you know how it is.)
My husband tells me I underestimate how long things are going to take. I think my drive home will be 15 mins (but it takes 30). I think I can get up, get ready, go to the store, get gas and get to work in 45 mins (it takes 90 minutes). I think a trip to the craft store involves time stopping from the time I walk IN until the time I walk OUT. Not true. I try to do too much and I'm apparently awful at judging time.
Did I mention I'm working on this? I have to say, smart hones in many ways are huge helpers on this. Now I'm setting a new goal of trying to be 10 mins early to everything. Then, if I have a few minutes left, I can go on facebook or something. It actually works pretty well.
Putting Things Away.
I don't mind cleaning as long as it involves water. I'll get in the shower and scrub, I'll clean toilets, I'll wash dishes... no problem. Don't ask me to clear the table or put my clothes away. I've always wondered why this is... I don't know but it makes even me crazy. Something about the process really stresses me out. It's like all I can think about is getting it over with -- or more accurately, getting away from the task.
OK, that's enough self loathing for today. :)
Actually, I don't loath myself.
My outlook is different.
Failure is how we learn.
It's how we grow.