encouragement & faith

Oh friend, how do I encourage you?  You are so downtrodden and disillusioned.  You know God is good and yet doubt His goodness because of circumstances.  It's so our humanity that stands in the way of understanding God.   

My heart is heavy for you.  

I see how our own attempts to control our lives can hinder our walk with God.  I see it with such clarity in my own life and still I choose my attempts at control or escape vs. allowing God to lead me down the path to His will.  I think of Daniel, who regardless of circumstances stood for God and refused to be burdened by the world around him.  Even to the point of being alone and plotted against... thrown in a lions den.  I want to be that brave in the face of all that the enemy throws at me, the world discourages me and my own failings frustrate me.  

I want that bravery--that faith --for you too.  I want you to choose this day whom you serve and trust Him for every provision.  Today, tomorrow and your future.  I encourage you to trust God.  You know He's big enough, but your own fear and thinking cloud your understanding of Him.  I'm praying that God will reach down and touch you.  That He will give you peace.  That you will loosen the hand clutched around your life and open it; giving it all to Him.  That if brokenness is the way through to the other side, you will lay before Him broken and free.  That would would claim the promises of God and hold tight to them knowing He is in control and that you can trust Him.

I always see myself in the future looking back on whatever my current difficult circumstance is and I think what I would like to be true of myself during this time.  I want to be the parent who trusts God for the future of their child -- even if he never turns his life around.  Even if he ends up dead at an early age.  

Even if.... 
I want my faith to be fully reliant on my Creator because He is I AM.  I look at all the destruction of lives that have come before me and desire to be a beacon to others that regardless of my circumstances God is good.  That's what I want to see.

I know our lives are different and our faith is different.  I pray that you would feel the boldness of Jesus and His resurrection power that He can and will conquer whatever lies in your life that stands between you  giving it all to Him.

Let go of your control.  Seek intimacy with Him and his people.  Do what you know to do and Trust God for the results.  Even if it takes another year.  Even if it takes 2 more years.  Be joyful in today and His provision and shout that it is enough, not because it's what you want, but because it is what God has provided.  Let your life be a celebration of the manna offered daily to you.

Lord, be with us.  Help us see you are enough.  Help us see Your provision.  Let us lift up our fear, our loneliness and our control to you sacrificially as an offering to You.  
Be with us Lord.
Amen.

feeling blue

I'm generally a fairly happy person.  I may have mentioned this before.)  I'm in the middle of a blue period.  I don't care for it.  It's day 3 of unhappiness and it's a form of torture to be here.  I just want it to stop.

I think...  I need more coffee.  (because coffee is always the answer... oh wait, no that's Jesus.  Jesus is always the answer.)
Coffee doesnt help.
Chocolate?  No dice.
Yes, I am reaching out to Jesus.  I'm praying though not enough.  I'm so uncomfortable that I find myself playing the Netflix and Escape game more than the be still and wait on God responsible activity.

I know --I hope/I believe -- being still and letting God closer will make me feel better.  Why don't I do it?  What silliness or contention is stopping me from at least some kind of relief?  I do not understand myself.

The struggle is real my friends.  It is real.

So I think about how other people feel this way all the time.  I think, man, I'm so happy this isn't too constant in my life.  It's such a burden to bear.  My heart softens a little at this thought.  It is a burden to carry these emotions around.  To be kind to others when you're finding it difficult to be kind to yourself.  To share a smile or work hard at your job when you feel like there is something wrong inside to the point of distraction.

I sit with that for a bit.  It's been banging around inside my head all day actually.  As one of my favorite bloggers reminds us... DEPRESSION LIES!  I know it's not truth.  I wish so much that I could help others understand just how much depression lies and that we can be free of the spiral of self hatred and unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

So... tonight.  I will try to spend more time with God.  I will try to do something productive that I can at least have a few checkmarks on my day as accomplishments.  And tomorrow.  Tomorrow is another day.  (yeah, I just did that.)

Recipe for a better day:

• good nights sleep
• start with God
• COFFEE
• practice smiling
• take a little extra time getting ready so I feel good about myself
• try to stay busy at work
• go on a walk at lunch
• eat decent
• B vitamins

We'll see how I do.

For the love of prodigals

My prodigal is my first born.

He has always been a spirited child.  He is high energy and curious and takes after his mother and my slightly contentious attitude.

He is charming.  He can light up a room and make someone feel good about themselves.

He is engaging.  He is passionate.  He gets involved in something and wants to take it on.  He wants to master something and be good at it, but sometimes gets discouraged at the difficulty.

I know all mothers think their children are attractive, but my son is attractive.  His big brown eyes and the puppy dog look he's mastered over the years can sway you.

He's articulate.  You often don't realize he's as young as he is when talking to him because he sounds older and more mature than he really is.

He can write beautifully.  There is a poet inside of him.  His stories and lyrics are beautiful.

I just wanted to write some beautiful things about my prodigal to remind myself they are there.

surrender

Have I mentioned my current favorite devotional?

https://skyejethani.com/with-god-daily-devotional/


My small group of women are each on a journey.  We have very different lives and seemingly different issues.  As we meet weekly to share and study a book we picked up; we've been (I've been) dissatisfied with the depth of the study we chose.  After 3 weeks, I found myself convicted of my complaining.  If I wanted more depth, my Bible is right there in front of me.  I can always ask God to reveal more to me.  Or... perhaps God wants me to focus on just what is before me.  Am I seeking to feed my pride through some great revelation or understanding I've not had before?  Because pride is a constant companion in my life.  

So I slowed down and looked at what I could glean from the study.  In Acts, comparing Peter and Paul's lives.  My first thought is yada yada yada, been here, done that.  I went through the homework actually being sarcastic at some of the questions asked in the book.  "Really?  That is what you're asking me?"  So I went back over my answers and saw something ... surrender.  They surrendered their lives to the will of God.  LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE IT MADE IN THE WORLD!  Not just in their own lives, but the world.  Jesus built His church on their lives, their witness, their teaching.  How amazing the idea of surrender is.  

Am I brave enough to truly surrender?

So I shared with our little group.
The next day I read my With God Daily devotional.  It was on love and culture.  God's people were slaves and exiles attempting to live Godly lives stuck in pagan lands.  Then we look at Jesus' incarnation.  The difference is He chose his engagement.  He chose to come down to us and engage, to be a servant, to live with us.  Even in the face of rejection, hatred and murder.

That made me think.
I need to surrender without expecting the other people in my life to behave properly.  My surrendering isn't the ticket to getting what I want or having my problems solved.  Surrender is the role Christ had and it's the role I have.

It's hard.  I'm a fighter.  I think sometimes the greatest battles are won by not fighting back.  God is bigger than these issues.  If we need to rest and recuperate I believe God makes space for that in our lives.  Yet we are called to love, regardless of where we are.  

Where is God calling me to surrender?  Where might God be calling you to surrender?

cough...sputter... surrender

My new favorite devotional is With God by Skye Jethani.

https://skyejethani.com/with-god-daily-devotional/

It's short, he links to scripture, even includes a prayer at the end (though with my current life I don't always have time to get down that far).

More importantly, it's deep.  He builds day to day on the same topic and I find that is really powerful in my life.  Do you ever notice how God speaks to you in multiple ways when He's trying to get your attention?
You hear a sermon at church. You hear the same message in a clip on the radio.  A similar issue comes up in the life of a friend (and now 'magically' you have scripture to pray over them because you've heard it a few times already).  A song comes on the radio and it speaks to that same message from God.  Hey girl, God is speaking to you!  Do you hear His voice?  I hear Him all the time.  I have a friend who like really hears Him.  She's so close to God He practically directs her day.  It's beautiful.  

My message of late is (cough, sputter) surrender.
Can I share that I hate that word?  It makes me afraid and fear is not something I suffer from.  I'm not a worrier, I don't ring my hands over issues generally.  I'm far too pragmatic for such behavior.  Yet, if you enter the word surrender into my life, suddenly I worry, "Oh no, what is God going to ask me for?"  "Do I have to give up everything and go work on a missionary field without access to a good manicurist and my daily cup of oh so carefully made coffee?"*  or worse, will He take me somewhere away from daily access to a computer?  Egaads what would I do? 

The answer to that is... I would, nay -- I will -- do what God calls me to do.
My fear of surrender involves several things.
1.  Giving up my belief that I'm in control.
2.  Giving up my belief that there is control to be had.
3.  Realizing God has the BEST plan for me.
4.  Realizing all my plans are for not without His blessing and guidance.

When I fear being homeless due to some catastrophic event... I hear the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear, I'll be with you should that happen.  Then I think, of the people we are most inspired by, who among them hasn't endured some kind of tragedy?  Who hasn't walked through a fire holding fiercely to Jesus as their endurance?

And I think... OK, surrender.
God's will for my life.
How courageous am I?




*Some could say I don't even drink coffee.  I drink Folgers instant in very specific measure with creamer and sugar.  I don't even let others make it for me.  But still, I love my coffee.

does God want us to enjoy life?

I know many of us enjoy Joyce Meyer’s teaching.  I’m not suggesting you stop listening, but I recently signed up for one of her weekly teachings with a bible study attached and was going through it when I hit the stop button.  

I have to point out that when listening to ANYONE you really need to let the Holy Spirit be a filter of wisdom to what you are hearing.  We are encouraged in Acts 17:11Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

To listen and then reason to see if what we are being taught is true.

If you aren’t already aware, there is a lot of concern over some of the things Joyce teaches.  I would be wary of any “name it and claim it”* or “prosperity”* teaching she shares.  *(hereinafter called Gimme Teachers J)

So, what I saw.. FAITH 101: New Life in Christ “Joyce University”God wants you to enjoy your life , and the only way you can do that is to discover and experience the abundant life Jesus gives.

JOHN 10:10 says: The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life , and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

The bible does NOT SAY God wants us to enjoy life.  Joyce added this and she added it to scripture without a disclaimer that she was doing so (a rule of thumb I use when listening to teachers)  I did a quick word study** on this to see what the original language was and enjoy is not in the list.

What concerns me is this is a false teaching by others Joyce is associated with. Why is this an issue you may ask? 

The idea that God is primarily concerned with our ENJOYMENT or WEALTH or HAPPINESS is just not true.  Look at the fruit of the spirit:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness and self-control (I always get a tickle in my throat on the self-control…)

If this is what God seeks to build in our lives, if this is the product of our loving Him and showing others who He is in our lives… I don’t see enjoyment on the list.

Is enjoyment possible?  ABSOLUTELY… but it’s not a biblical directive, it’s a potential side effect of living for God.  My argument with such teaching (and I’m referring to the Gimme Teaching as a whole here, not just Joyce) is that they treat God like a genie or ATM who wants to give us all good things and we just have to ask.

Moms… do we want to give our kids all good things?  Yes.

Is this all we give our kids?  No.

Are some of the good things we give our kids not considered good by our kids?

As parents we must look ahead to the ramifications of behavior.  We are training our children to be good, decent, contributing members of society and yes, we want them to enjoy life and we want to bless them in any way we can… but that desire to bless them is tempered with not spoiling them by giving them everything they ask for.

God identifies himself as our Father and uses this language repeatedly in talking to us about who He is.

I don’t actually put Joyce in the same camp as the other “name it and claim it” or “prosperity” teachers.  She is more biblically correct than they are.  I also think that she speaks really strongly to people with anxiety and fear issues and teaches boldly about these.  That’s why I don’t just cross her off my list of teachers.  I still think we need to “be Bereans” and be wise, checking what we hear with God’s word.

p.s.

** sources for easy word study online  (images of examples below:

• Read NASB version of bible (I usually pull up paralell versions with NIV and NASB to ensure I understand what I’m reading.)
• (I also like AMP Amplified Bible which is the KJV with a commentary kind of built in to the verses.)
• www.biblegateway.com
• John 10:10 – paralell
• https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%2010%3A10&version=NIV;NASB
  
•  Read the whole paragraph and if necessary the whole chapter.  Remember context is king.
  
• Look up Greek word in Strong's Concordance (and don’t you just love technology?!! You can do that online with a few clicks HERE!)
• 
• Life:
  
• abundantly
  

So it is obvious from this that God wants MORE for our lives and I truly believe that most of us live way below God’s plan for our lives, but I think we focus on temporal things and God focuses on spiritual things.

repentance

I was talking with a friend of mine and had a wonderful revelation.

I have always struggled with understanding some things.  Like, how could David be such a SINNER and be called a man after God’s own heart and righteous and yet part of me identifies with that combination.  I always secretly believed that I could sin and still love God and be close to Him.  There are obviously many issues that come along with that like guilt and the sin separating me from God – except that the sin only separates me from God it doesn’t separate God from me.  God never leaves me.  He never forsakes me.  I forsake Him because of my own guilt.  The parable of the prodigal shows me that.  I believe people who say they are homosexual and love God.  I do not find those two things automatically mutually exclusive because if they are people who commit adultery or have sex outside of marriage but have hetero sex are in big trouble.

I’ve always been taught that repentance means to feel sorry for my sin and then turn away from it.  But that is not the Greek/Biblical definition of repentance.  The Greek definition is to turn away, to be changed from it. (http://biblesuite.com/greek/3340.htm)  This sits well with me.  How else could David be a man after God’s own heart and still commit the egregious sins he committed? 

I wonder how much the enemy has kept us from by keeping us focused on our own guilt instead of on following God balls out (if you’ll excuse the expression) failures and all and just keep going after all He is and all He wants for us.  Our guilt stops us in our tracks because we have the idea that God holds it against us when He tells us he doesn’t.  He gives the example of a loving father (not a bad father) to show us who He is.  He gives us the example of the prodigal who wants to go his own way and takes all God has to give and lives the life he thought he wanted to live and finds himself at the bottom only to discover he’s homesick and wants his daddy again.  When he goes home, there is Dad with open arms waiting expectantly to throw a party for his son’s return.  Is that how you feel after you sin and turn back to God?  Or do you still feel like you’re not good enough?  Like you have to “pay” for what you’ve done.  I think we convince ourselves that some payment is due even though perhaps we don’t give a voice to that semi-unconscious belief.

Throw off all that hinders you.

I am becoming renewed.
I am excited!
I can’t wait to hear what else God wants to tell me.

women in the church

We have it all wrong because we don’t understand how Paul wrote and what God means.

Does Jesus condemn woman as filthy and seductive?  Does He say that our speech is not to be heard?

Does Jesus say that women are less than men?  Less morally capable?  Less intelligent?

Well, the Talmud (oral Jewish law, Pharisees were famous for it… adding to THE Law from God)

Nowhere in the OT does God say that women cannot speak in church.

Go ahead and check. J

Apparently the Talmud does say to silence women.  This sounds much more like a Muslim teaching to me and since they are all from the same line, it’s not a stretch that this teaching would be in both systems.

The Talmud clearly affirms the silence of females:
“A woman’s voice is prohibited because it is sexually provocative” (Talmud, Berachot 24a).
“Women are sexually seductive, mentally inferior, socially embarrassing, and spiritually separated from the law of Moses; therefore, let them be silent” (summary of Talmudic sayings).

“It is a shame for a woman to let her voice be heard among men” (Talmud, Tractate Kiddushin).
“The voice of a woman is filthy nakedness” (Talmud, Berachot Kiddushin).

Does this sound like the voice of Jesus?  Do you think this is the kind of thing He said to the woman at the well?  To the adulteress the crowd was trying to stone?  Does it even sound like Paul?  It really doesn’t.  It sounds like man’s heart.  Like his desire to control and rule over things.  Look around the world and where greed and corruption flourish man is in control without being accountable to God.  Without a relationship with the creator of the world who desires an ongoing and intimate relationship with us.  What I really see above is that man’s heart is evil and corruptible if they think that every time a woman opens her mouth it is sexually provocative.  Typically, in our culture it is men who have the stronger sex drive.  I think it interesting that they try to put their own sins upon the woman.

I don’t see the Bible teaching that spiritual gifts are based on what chromosomes you have.  They are not dependent upon the sex of the recipient.  Thus, woman can have the gifts of teaching and pastorship. 

You can read more at THIS BLOG.
(THISis really good too, though I warn my Catholic friends, you will not like what she has to say)

And my new mantra for when people talk about how wives are to submit to their husbands is to reply… and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, even to the point of laying down their life for them.  That’s the kind of man I will submit to!

1 year ago

Post from last march (on another blog I started and didn't keep up with)

This is the first day of the rest of my life.
OK, every day really is the first day.
Today I am taking a step forward in my faith and in my life.
This past retreat weekend I made some changes.

I realized I stepped away from God for a while.
I've been very discouraged.

Trying to make my marriage and my family work.
Trying to have a marriage that isn't in separate rooms all the time.  Where my husband doesn't want to hide in his man cave but be a part of what's going on. 

Trying to be the person I see inside of me but never seem to produce.

So Lord, here we go.  I can see that while I trust in you, I've still been trying awfully hard to do all this in my own strength.  It needs to be Your strength because I think it's pretty obvious, I haven't done so well.


I had a very difficult 2012.  I had a major crisis of faith that is still playing out a bit, but I've mostly decided that not believing in / following God is a life I am not particularly interested in living.  Though my faith isn't so strong as it was and I do miss that.

Be strong and courageous.

today's prayer:
(OK, it's yesterday's prayer but I missed yesterday so I'm doing this one)

Deuteronomy 30:1
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Pray this verse in your own life. Where is God asking you to go? Be strong and courageous.

What I hear/see:

Strong: 

Make good eating choices.

Resist temptation to eat the wrong things or to not be active.

Not allow myself to get distracted and thus waste my time but allow my time to be used wisely. 

Do something constructive daily on my home -- even when I don't feel like it.

Courageous: 

Believe that with God's help, things can and will change. 

Not give up or allow discouragement to gain a foothold. 

Trust that God will redeem my marriage and home.

I want to start DREAMING and following and praying about those dreams.  I don't think I realized I wasn't dreaming before.  I'm still not "feeling" it like I used to.  I used to be super emotional about things and this time I'm not.  Interesting.